MSGHero.

No, it's not "Message hero."
No, I didn't misspell Metal Gear Solid.
No, I'm not affiliated with Madison Square Garden.

Almost 4 years ago, I was 2cool4u. It was original enough that I didn't run into many conflicts, for which I used 2c2bt (too cool to be true). If you haven't realized yet, I was a pretty cool kid and needed the internet to know. For Christmas I got Call of Duty MW2. Plot interests me more than mindlessly shooting at other people, so I played through the campaign first. I wasn't terrible at shooting despite it being my first shooter, so I decided to sign up for Playstation Network to access the multiplayer.

But PSN usernames can't start with a number. I was distraught, as all of my username alternatives started with a number. I figured that having a one-word name would sound pretty cool as well, so I tried "Valor." Taken. "Perseverance." Taken. "Destroyer." Taken along with about 10 other names. "Hero." Taken. "Hero16." Taken.

At this point, I stopped and stared at the screen. None of the words I could think of were available, and it seemed like following them with number permutations wouldn't help either. However, the break made me realize that I was hungry. "I could go for some Chinese right now," I said. Thirty seconds passed. Without a thought in my mind, I instinctively typed the name of that magical, salty chemical. Sodium 2-Aminopentanedioate. C5H8NO4Na. Monosodium glutamate. MSG.

A year later, when signing up for Newgrounds, Mark Zuckerberg told me to drop the "16." I would have done the same for my twitter, but MESSAGE hero, aka Mr. Worthless Twitter Account wasting my electrons, had already laid claim to the name. No matter, for though he may have acquired the account first, I will have the prestige that follows the name.